i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
