she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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