dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
