6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
