You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
