her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
