chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
