last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
