I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
