you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
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