The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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