I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
