We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
How naked do you want me to be?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
