I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
If that was your dad, he is hot
North Korea, Best Korea!
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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