how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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