Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
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