I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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