I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
