the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
then he tried to convert me to islam
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
