I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
false alarm, still single
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
