What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
