i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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