Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
