I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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