This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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