So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
