Need sex. Gaining weight.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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