You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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