I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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