why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
