dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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