Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
