That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
