dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
