so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
