Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
