yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Randomize
