Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
