Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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