this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
How external is "for external use only"?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
