That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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