Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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