Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
