im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
