I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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