I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
