I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
