Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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