I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
third nipple confirmed
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
