You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
