Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
